The Josh Allen rub
If you’ve listened to my appearances on Pandering Pat Moran’s podcast, you know we love speaking in wrestling carnie terms. Kayfabe language.
One of my favorite words to use is “the rub.”
As defined by wrestling Reddit:
In professional wrestling, “the rub” refers to a veteran or established star sharing their credibility and spotlight with a younger or less established wrestler—usually by losing to them or having a competitive match. This boosts the younger wrestler’s status and elevates them in the fans’ eyes.
You want to get a heel over? Pair him with Paul Heyman and let him work his magic with the microphone and credibility.
You want to get a babyface over? Just have Hulk Hogan point at them and suddenly the crowd is going nuts.
And that’s exactly what I think the Buffalo Bills are doing with Josh Allen.
Right now the Bills brain trust—specifically Terry Pegula and Brandon Beane—have what wrestling fans would call go-away heat with a segment of the fanbase on social media.
Go-away heat (or go-home heat) is when fans dislike a performer so much they don’t even want to boo them anymore—they just want them off television.
In a world where Brandon Beane is very image-conscious and Bills PR monitors everything, Josh Allen becomes the perfect guy to give them the rub and put them over like babyfaces.
The thinking seems to be: fans love Josh Allen more than anything. So if Josh is attached to a decision, the fans will go along with it.
Let’s use the golden boy as our shield.
We saw it after the Broncos loss when Allen was visibly emotional at the podium. Fans immediately rallied around him. “Not our poor boy Josh!” Pegula has talked about how seeing Josh broken in the locker room was what made him fire McDermott. He could have just said everyone was in tears and let Josh Allen be just a part of the team.
When the Bills drafted Keon Coleman, one of the first things Beane mentioned was that Josh loved the pick and had been sending him highlights.
When Connor McGovern re-signed, he said Josh had been on the phone with both him and management helping get the deal done.
What exactly does that mean?
Did Josh negotiate the bonuses?
Did he offer to restructure his own contract?
Of course not.
But the message is clear: Josh wanted it.
That’s the rub.
And if Josh wanted it, fans are going to feel pretty good about it too.
Tim Graham recently wrote a piece about how the Bills seem to be doing everything in their power to make Allen happy, listing several moments where Allen’s influence appeared to shape decisions at One Bills Drive. This is different than what Ty Dunne had in his manifesto against McDermott in 2023, where he painted a picture of Josh Allen not being a giant influence
He has never been the type of leader to yell at a teammate. He isn’t mercilessly cussing out teammates like Brady, like Aaron Rodgers, like Peyton Manning.
“Josh isn’t that guy, so he’s not going to be that way either with the head coach,” said this ex-Bill with intel on the current team. “He’s not that kind of guy. It’s a personality deal. That’s just who he is. “No. 17 is just a different bird,” said one friend and former pro teammate. “He’s wired different. He’s not like most of these quarterbacks. He wants to make dick jokes and run into people.”
Does this sound like someone wanting to be in the known or flex his muscles?
Now, 3 years ago is a long time ago, so maybe Josh Allen has changed and wants to be involved more…or maybe the Bills want him to be involved more so they can justify any decision they make because Josh Allen was involved.
“Hey Josh! Wanna go on Terry’s private plane and meet the coaching candidates?”
“Sure!”
“Hey Josh! Check out these highlights of Keon Coleman, we may draft him tomorrow.”
“Wow! He looks good from the Youtube clips”
We’ve seen plenty of star players influence team decisions before. LeBron James basically turned it into an art form when he went to South Beach to team up with Dwyane Wade and Chris Bosh, and he’s been shaping rosters ever since. In the NFL, star quarterbacks often carry similar weight. Aaron Rodgers, Lamar Jackson, and Tom Brady in Tampa have all had significant influence over personnel decisions.
Brady is actually the interesting comparison. I always got the sense he didn’t have nearly that level of influence in New England because that power belonged to Bill Belichick and that dynamic ultimately played a role in their split. Then in Tampa, he basically handpicked everyone he wanted.
The real risk comes when a superstar’s influence leads to bad decisions. A quarterback isn’t a scout or a coach.
Signing a buddy like Kyle Allen as a backup is one thing.
Pushing for a coach you personally like who ends up regressing the offense—like what happened with Ken Dorsey—is another story.
For Buffalo fans, this is kind of new territory. We’ve never really had a superstar who could be given carte blanche to influence decisions across the organization. Right now Josh Allen can basically do no wrong in this town, and the Bills seem perfectly happy attaching his name to every major decision.
Because if Josh gives his stamp of approval or the rub, the fans probably will too.
Phony $$$
It took about two hours of doom-scrolling Bills Twitter when free agency opened last Monday before I said screw it, I’ll just wait for phone alerts.
From fans to content creators to MSM media people, it felt like the same Groundhog Day that happens every year.
First comes the “Oh my God! I can’t believe they paid that much for that player!” crowd.
I’ve been saying this for over ten years now: almost none of these players are actually going to see all that money.
I remember when Tyrod Taylor signed his $90-million contract with the Buffalo Bills in 2016. When you compared the cap hit to other quarterbacks around the league, it was basically chump change because the Bills structured the deal to be extremely team-friendly.
Yet Jerry Sullivan—who always seemed to have a never-ending hard-on against Tyrod—would constantly say, “Don’t you want more from your $90-million quarterback?”
No, dumbass. He’s not getting $90 million, and he’s basically in the lower third of starting quarterbacks when you look at the actual cap numbers.
But hey, never let the truth get in the way of your narrative.
Connor McGovern will not see $52 million.
DJ Moore will not see $75 million.
Mike Evans will not see $60 million.
Then you get the Beane ball-washers who post charts like:
“Look where James Cook ranks in cap hit among running backs this year! Wow! He’s not even in the top 15 at $5.8 million in 2026! IN BEANE WE TRUST!”
Cool.
You want to guess where he’s ranked in 2027?
Sixth. At $13 million.
How about 2028?
Third. At $14.5 million.
So are you going to tweet the same chart next year? Or are you going to wait until Brandon Beane does what every general manager in the NFL does and restructures the deal to kick the cap hit down the road again?
Because that’s the whole game.
It’s phony money.
The only numbers that actually matter are the cap hit and the dead money if the player gets cut.
That’s it.
It’s simple math, and it never ceases to amaze me how many people either don’t understand that or understand it perfectly and just ignore it because engagement is better when you pretend the fake numbers are real.
Which, ironically, makes them sound exactly like the GMs who keep bending the cap in the first place.
From Sol Cal to South Beach
The Bradley Chubb signing feels a lot like Joey Bosa coming here last year. Both players had injury concerns and both were kind of household names. The reports out there were the Bills were in on Hendrickson before he went to Baltimore and this feels like their plan B. I think it is funny how on Bills twitter, everyone and their mother loved taking shots at the Dolphins and their players. Chubb was one of those main guys because he always got hurt and Miami gave up a lot for him. Well..now that he’s a Bill, its a great value!
As for Chubb, having 3 ACL injuries before the age of 30 is definitely a notgreatbob.meme. Chubb has played 90 games in 10 seasons.
Glass half full: Hey! He doesn’t have a lot of wear and tear since that’s about 6 seasons worth of games!
Glass half empty: he’s played in 38 fewer games than Josh Allen and they were drafted in the same class.
Now Chubb was healthy all of last season and chipped in with 8.5 sacks and then in 2023, he had 11.5 sacks. He’s also someone that Vic Fangio, who I consider one of the best DC in the game, has been fond over and was a big part of bringing him to Miami when he was their DC.
We all know that the Bills pass rush doesn’t believe in having fun box scores for me to post about, but he’d definitely be the leading sacker in both seasons for the Bills. Chubb also played 72% of the snaps last year which is different from what the Bills normally do which is their DL rotation of doom.
2023 was an impressive season for him per google..
Grade: 88.8 (12th ranked EDGE - PFF)
Sacks: 11.0 (Top 15-20 range among NFL edge rushers)
Forced Fumbles: 6 (Ranked 1st in the NFL)
Pass Rush Win Rate: Ranked 9th (55 wins)
Snap Count: 836 (Highest of his career at that point)
Ranked 62 on the top 100 players list.
I don’t know know how he will fit in this defense. But he has been in a 3-4 defense in the past with Denver and Miami.
Overall, I do **THINK** he’s better than Bosa and hopefully won’t be as shitty against the run, but he better stay healthy.
Pass the mic
I’m kicking around the idea of occasionally letting other people hijack this space if they’ve got a take and can actually write. Send me something good and I might repost it.
First up is my friend Sam, a Buffalo expat who somehow ended up living down the street from me. If you were around the Buffalo blog scene back in the day, you might remember him from Dear God, Why Us?, where he wrote under the name “The Apologist.”
Sam has never lacked for opinions. Today he’s got one.
Bam Adebayo’s 83-point performance is definitely coming with an asterisk. But he’s 2nd all time. Wilt. Bam. Kobe. Don’t like it? Go beat it. Bam’s never taking his name off that list just like AD’s never giving his ring back from the bubble.
Basketball fans and commentators will never miss a chance to create a new argument. It is my least favorite thing about the league, but it’s inevitable. If comparison is the thief of joy, the NBA is typically a joyless place - particularly when a record overtakes an all-time adored & revered player.
But please, miss me with all the belly-aching about tanking teams if you’re then going to act like someone throughly humiliating one of said squads is also somehow an affront to the league.
(Mind you, of all the tankers, I think the Zards are actually the least offensive, but still… triple-teaming a guy full court… just wow.)
Let’s not spend half the season griping about load management and intentional losing and then also bury a guy for playing as hard as possible as long as possible. Regardless of circumstance, he still had to run up and down that court. He still had to take all that contact. He still had to make those shots.
Most nights Bam Adebayo is an exemplar of what a true professional should be. Stop acting like he should be demoted for trying to achieve a milestone. And in a league where the regular season is increasingly rendered meaningless, stop trying to void probably the only contest from this year that anyone will remember at all years from now. This was an objectively fun moment for that man, that team, and that city; and it should have been the same for the league.
You know what’s a bad look for the league? Terry Rozier’s call logs. Steve Ballmer’s expense reports. The Sacramento Kings.
Maybe the fact that the Blazers’ season started with their head coach getting arrested on federal gambling charges while every major and minor basketball broadcast is still brought to you by 24/7 prop betting.
So go ahead; put an asterisk next to his name. But the only thing truly embarrassing about that game was the conversation surrounding it.
Not Playing It Safe
Like probably most fans, whenever the Bills sign a player from a different team, I start thinking about which one of my friends rooted for a team player X was on. I texted my ex-roommate who is a diehard miserable Eagles fan and told him we signed their former safety.
“FUCK!” was the response.
He was hoping that C. J. Gardner-Johnson would make a return to the City of Brotherly Love and went on and on about how big of a key he was for them winning the Super Bowl in 2024. Mind you, this is the same friend/fan who hates everyone with the Eagles and makes me sound like Chris Brown.
CJ seems a little insane. Just peek at his Wikipedia page and it reads like a running list of side stories and controversies. Go on social media and there’s a cool video of him getting in Tom Brady’s face. Sweet! Sign me up for more dickheads and more players that make my ex-roommate more pissed off than when I ate his potato chips in the middle of the night.
When the signing happened, Bills Twitter immediately went to: “This proves Sean McDermott isn’t running the locker room anymore.” The logic being that CJGJ is exactly the kind of personality McDermott would’ve avoided in the past.
Maybe that’s true. But let’s also remember the Bills once kept and extended Richie Incognito before things went completely off the rails there. As Carmine Lupertazzi would say… whatever happened there. They also did make a run at Antonio Brown, who was not nearly as insane as he is now, but was definitely troubled.
CJGJ does have some connections to the current staff. He spent three seasons playing under Sean Payton, who the Bills media machine loves comparing to Joe Brady as some sort of offensive mentor figure. He played with the Eagles who love to bring the heat with blitzes and we are lead to believe that Jim Leonard’s defense will be that.
Still, this will be his sixth NFL team since entering the league in 2019. For a player who is undeniably good, that’s at least a little bit of a red flag.
Production-wise, though, the guy makes plays.
He’s had two seasons with six interceptions, and if you’re wondering when the last Bills player hit that number, you have to go back to Tre’Davious White in 2019.
Want more box-score scouting?
Since entering the league in 2019, Gardner-Johnson has 20 interceptions, which is tied for 7th-most in the NFL over that span. He also ranks 22nd in passes defended during that timeframe.
The flip side is he does give up some big plays. According to Stathead, quarterbacks have completed about 65% of their passes when targeting him. That’s partly because of how aggressive he is. CJGJ plays close to the line of scrimmage and gets used frequently as a blitzer. Over his career, he’s been sent on 154 blitzes.
In other words, he’s very much a high-risk, high-reward player.
Dad Shots
I think Brandon Beane is a giant RICHARD and he’s irritated the hell out of me for a while now, but I’ve actually been pretty satisfied with his offseason so far. I like the four players they’ve added via signings and trades and they should all have real roles next season. I’ll even go as far as to say this is the most impressed I’ve been with Beane’s March since 2022 when they signed Von Miller. Yes, you can nitpick the compensation for DJ Moore and there’s obvious risk with Bradley Chubb, but on paper I’m satisfied.
Geno Stone sounds like a porno star name. From what I read online, he was great with the Ravens in 2023 when he had 7 interceptions and lead the league. But he was a disaster in Cincinnati. If you care about PFF, here’s where he ranked: PFF Grades (2025): 59.2 Overall (69th/97 safeties), 55.4 Coverage (69th/97), 59.2 Run Defense (84/97), 76.6 Pass Rush (15th/97). If anything between him and CJGJ, there’s a lot of interceptions between them but also seems to be a lot of risk. This could be what they want more in their defensive backfield as it feels like they want more agressive man-to-man coverage who are gonna get picks, but may also get burned.
I want the Bills to draft a giant fat guy on defense in the first round. They need Ted Washington 2.0.
If I have to see one more tweet about Connor McGovern and his pizza-making skills with Bills media acting like it’s the coolest thing ever, I’m giving up pizza for the rest of my life. Also, no one cares if a player leaves and your quote book is going to suffer. I saw a media person sad that Mitchell Trubisky was leaving because he was a “good quote.” My question is: what exactly were you going to Mitch for after a game? Asking how hard it was to hold the tablet for Josh Allen? Maybe those guys were sources in the end, but I can’t tell you the last time I missed a player because of their quotes.
I rewatched Season 3 of Daredevil and I’m ready to say it’s the best season of any comic book show ever. The violence, the acting, and the plot twists hit everything. The 11-minute single-shot prison sequence where Matt Murdock fights his way through the jail is incredible. I started watching Daredevil: Born Again and you can definitely tell the show went through massive behind-the-scenes turnover with the showrunner. It feels like they crammed eight plot lines into two episodes.
Speaking of Kingpin, if I have to see one more Bills beat writer bend over backwards defending Beane’s cap management because of Josh Allen’s contract, I’m going to assume Beane has blackmail on them or they’re trying to get into Boyko’s golf bro tournament foursome. It’s the easiest excuse in the world to dismiss, especially since they already added three free agents and traded for DJ Moore. At this point it feels like a messaging campaign so everyone ignores the dead money and the other bad deals.
Andy was god awful at soccer on March 8th. One week after making me proud, the last 20 minutes were an epic meltdown. They brought out this giant foam block for him to kick and apparently he had a nightmare about blocks trying to kill him. He spent the entire time hugging the net, diving to the floor, and running away from the ball like he was on a bad acid trip. His grandfather will not be hearing about that lesson. However, he did rebound this past Saturday with a B- performance. He did kick the penalty kick, but he definitely needed my help.
These new Sabres defensemen Luke Schenn and Logan Stanley don’t exactly look…um…good? I know, it’s early, but after last week’s game against the Caps, I was hoping it was just um..Jet leg? Sam Carrick has been great and has already overachieved. He’s got 3 points in 5 games and has won a number of key faceoffs. Again, this is the type of guy you want in the playoffs. I’m very excited for Sabres after dark this weel, especially since everyone will be asleep in the house. I will do what Rasmus Dahlin has recommended and have some beers and develop my brotherhood with my cat.
Anyone who drives a Mercedes or BMW is a giant asshole on the road. Whether it’s tailgating or speeding across multiple lanes to pass everyone, you can count on seeing one of those logos on the front or back of the car.
Went to museum of Ice Cream yesterday in Manhattan. Highly recommend as you get unlimited ice cream throughout the museum. Theres also a playground downstairs that has all ice cream decorations, including a 2 foot “pool” filled with fake sprinkles. There’s also the biggest slide in Manhattan that goes 3 stories and that the writer of this piece may or may have not screamed like he was Ned Flanders seeing a dead ficus plant while going down it. I also found out that an Italian made the waffle cone. Somewhere AJ Soprano is telling his dad that Mister Softie created it and his dad blows up saying he was a thief.
I’ve heard a trick some Bills reporters use: they hear something from the team but instead of saying “a source says the Bills are looking to restructure Player X,” they tweet something like, “I could see Player X being a candidate for a restructure.” Then when it happens they pat themselves on the back. It’s low-risk, high-reward reporting. You look like an expert instead of an insider and you don’t take heat if the source ends up being wrong. No judgment—it’s a good gimmick…but I’d rather aim for being an insider.
TV Story: Many moons ago I was working as a booker on a judge show and booked a case with two ex-lovers from West Virginia. The guy had borrowed money from his ex-girlfriend and claimed it was a gift. That’s always the go-to defense in personal loan cases between family or exes, and it almost never works.
My boss and co-workers had told me that the guy was a deer in headlights in the green room and why on earth did you book this case? If he went out there and didn’t defend himself, the case would bomb and my bosses would kill me.
The guy was a high school football coach, so I barged in and gave him a full-on football locker room speech. Imagine a mix of Terry Silver screaming at Daniel LaRusso in The Karate Kid Part III to break some wood dumby with Karate’s Bad Boy picture on it and Ed Harris yelling at his ex-wife to come back from the dead in The Abyss.
“YOU JUST GONNA TURTLE OUT THERE? FIGHT! FIGHT FIGHT! YOU ARE GONNA GET HUMILIATED! THIS IS YOUR TIME! DO YOU OWE HER THE MONEY?”
The guy jumped up out of his chair like he was ready to run through a wall and went out there screaming that she gave him the money as a gift. Of course, he still lost because she had a signed promissory note that she saved as the smoking gun. But my bosses were happy. Lesson here: Briefing any talent before the red light goes on is very key and a pump up speech is a good trick.
If you’re wearing Bills gear outside the 716 or 585 and don’t say “Go Bills” back when someone says it to you, I assume you’re a communist.
The money going to backup quarterbacks now is ridiculous. Just draft some guy in the 6th round.
I wonder if the The Buffalo News might staff up more on the hockey side if the Sabres stay competitive. I’m old enough to remember when Mike Harrington and John Vogl were the beat writers while Jerry Sullivan, Bucky Gleason, and Bob DiCesare handled columns. Now it’s mostly Harrington -who is a columnist/beat guy- and Rachel Lenzi as a reporter. Obviously the economics of newspapers have changed, but the Sabres’ declining popularity probably played a role too. TBN currently have 3 people on the Bills beat. By my count they still have an opening since that one random dude -who I’m too lazy to lookup - took a job in Jacksonville. If I’m them, I hire a columnist who could write about both teams.
Gas by us is up to $3.89 a gallon. It was like $3.10 a few weeks ago. So…much…winning!
Both Bradley Chubb and DJ Moore were team captains.
Bills defensive rankings since 2017 (regular season):
QB hurries: 9th
QB knockdowns: 13th
QB sacks: 14th
Points allowed: 2nd
If you made it this far, thank you! Please share, comment, subscribe, and block Pat Moran on twitter. I’ll be back on his podcast Wednesday or Thursday.
Making Allen happy all the time may actually be a little risky too. When Brady was hired the Buffalo media claimed the Bills went "in-house" when hiring a familiar face. The consensus seemed to be that this was a low-risk choice by Pegula and Beane.
But before Brady was hired Ryan Fitzpatrick said what Allen really needs is a veteran coach who can "unlock" a new level to Allen's play. Instead they went in the opposite direction and hired someone barely older than Allen with no head coaching experience. That seems like a much riskier choice that will make Allen happy and likely not challenge him too much. But just like signing Kyle Allen, it may please Allen but may not necessarily good for the team. It may all work out in the long run because Allen is that good he can paper over bonehead ownership choices.