Get ready to hear the following:
“He’s—he’s—smiling!!”
(A Christmas Story dad voice)
“I’ve never seen so much laughing! Everyone is so much looser!”
There’s gonna be a lot more of these quotes from your friendly neighborhood Boyko Beat Bros. This is what happens when you’re 46 (me) and you’ve watched the Bills hire and fire head coaches for 30 years. You’ve seen every trope. Every cycle. Every lie we tell ourselves.
When Wade Phillips quit/fired/whatever version of the story you want to go with, the Bills decided they needed a fire-and-brimstone guy—someone who wasn’t going to be “lazy.”
Enter greggggggggggggggg Williams. At his introductory presser (which was after the Super Bowl, because he was coaching in it with the Titans. Yes, subtle jab for not waiting for Klint), he promised they were going to set the sack record. He brought a blowhorn. No more lazy Wade!
Then it bombed.
So next up was Mike Mularkey. Total vibe shift. Let’s be friends! Let’s be nice! Let’s go to McDonald’s before a game! He was the anti-Gregg because Gregg was a dick.
Then it bombed.
Well, clearly the Bills needed experience. Stability. Even-keeled leadership.
Enter 5,000 years of experience with Dick Jauron and Marv Levy. Player’s coaches! Everyone was happy!
It bombed.
Then came Chan Gailey. I don’t remember all of it, but I do remember this: Jauron ran “Club Dick,” where practices weren’t intense enough, and Chan came in like, “It’s football. You gotta hit the pads.” I’m pretty sure Chris Brown or John Murphy nearly passed out from excitement over that quote.
Then came the original CEO: Doug Marrone. Didn’t call plays. Wasn’t really an offensive guy. Had college experience.
Was a dick. Nobody liked him. Need a new answer
So obviously the answer was…
Rex Ryan.
The ultimate “won the press conference” hire. The guy everyone wanted (✋ guilty). Players would love him! He was fun! He’d eat dog biscuits! Wear Clemson helmets! And Bills fans would scream, “What a guy! He’s awesome!”
Then he didn’t pay attention to details and basically partied too much while being lazy as hell.
Okay—reset. We need discipline. We need boring. One voice. Structure.
Enter Sean McDermott.
And honestly? That went way better… until this season.
Now comes the leak phase.
Sean was an asshole.
Sean was a micromanager.
Sean didn’t get along with Brandon Beane.
Sean wanted his own players.
Maybe. Probably. All of it could be true.
Which brings me to Joe Brady.
Alec Anderson had the money quote about having someone “not up your ass.” And there you go—that’s OTAs and training camp. Brady’s young. He’s laid back. He smiles! Maybe he’ll give guys a day off. Maybe he’ll take them to Rochester Dairy Farm, where every Bills media member goes while bragging about the ice cream.
The next nine months are going to be about how everything is different.
Get ready for:
B-roll of Joe Brady high-fiving Josh Allen
Jokes
“The vibe is different”
Subtle (and not-so-subtle) echoes of Brandon Beane’s complaints
Get ready for me to barf.
Look—this isn’t a Joe Brady issue. It isn’t a Sean McDermott issue. This is just how it always goes when a new hierarchy comes in and perception becomes reality based on zero substance.
Rex Ryan had “All In” as a jab at Mario Williams.
Then we had:
Trust the process
Respect the process
Stay humble
Stay hungry
Press on
If you dog one of us, you dog all of us
Build a bully
Building together
There will be a few honest media people who won’t fall for this—or who’ll at least wait until September before the ball-washing starts.
Until then? Beware.
Get excited when new players actually get signed.
That’s what this will really be about.
The media ate up Brady’s speech at the press conference. New energy, Alignment, etc. But then he gave the exact same speech to everyone who works for the Bills later that day. It was obvious every word of both speeches was carefully prepared. Maybe he did learn something from McD.