Sometimes I think we forget just how fucking lucky we are as Bills fans.
Think about it. We get to watch Josh Allen and James Cook play football every single Sunday. Two players who, right now, have legitimate arguments for being the best in the NFL at their respective positions.
How many teams can say that?
Allen continues to do things on a football field that shouldn’t be humanly possible. Just when you think you’ve seen every ridiculous throw, escape, or improvised play imaginable, he pulls another one out of his ass. Against the Raiders, he somehow avoided a sack to find Keon Coleman and later made a fucking shot-put throw for a touchdown.
It’s like watching Houdini play quarterback.
And then there’s James Cook.
Remember when people were bitching about the Bills paying him? Well, how’s that working out? The guy has become an absolute touchdown machine, scoring a rushing touchdown in five consecutive games while continuing to prove he’s one of the most dangerous running backs in football.
The best part is how different these two guys are. Allen is pure chaos, improvisation, and ridiculous athletic ability. Cook is smooth, explosive, and makes running through an NFL defense look effortless.
One guy can beat you by doing something nobody on the planet expects. The other can make you look stupid by doing exactly what you know he’s going to do.
And they’re both wearing Buffalo Bills uniforms.
That’s pretty fucking awesome.
I know we spend a lot of time complaining about this team. God knows I do. The penalties, the defensive breakdowns, the coaching decisions, and all the other shit that drives us crazy every Sunday.
But sometimes it’s worth appreciating what we have right in front of us.
Because one day, we’re going to look back at this era of Bills football and realize just how special it was to watch these two guys together.
And I don’t want to spend the entire time bitching about everything else and forget to enjoy it.
Now, with that being said, I’ve got plenty of things to bitch about.
First Off, Fuck Paramount+, CBS, and That Stupid Mountain
I was thrilled when I found out the Bills-Raiders game was going to be on local television here in New York. No scrambling for a stream, no jumping through hoops. Just turn on the fucking TV and watch the Bills.
But what happens? The stupid Buccaneers-Steelers game goes into overtime, and suddenly the Bills game starts while we’re still watching two teams I couldn’t give two shits about.
And here’s the best part. I have NFL Sunday Ticket. Well, technically, I borrowed somebody’s password, but that’s beside the point. Because the Bills game is considered a local broadcast, Sunday Ticket won’t let me watch it either.
So now I’m paying attention to a game I don’t care about while the game I actually want to watch is happening somewhere else.
What a brilliant fucking system.
Fuck David Ellison, fuck Paramount+, fuck CBS, fuck Walter Cronkite, fuck Jon Gruden, fuck Bill Cowher, and fuck that stupid fucking mountain.
I didn’t even get to watch the first quarter because of this bullshit. But apparently the Bills managed to burn two timeouts on their opening offensive possession, only to come away with a field goal.
Wonderful. Can’t even watch the fucking game, and Buffalo’s already finding ways to drive me nuts.
The Good
Josh Allen Is a Fucking Magician
What more is there to say about Josh Allen?
Against Las Vegas, he somehow avoided a sack and found Keon Coleman for a ridiculous fucking shot-put throw for a touchdown.
What the hell are we even watching anymore?
Is he Houdini? Is he God? Is he some combination of the two?
I’m running out of ways to describe the ridiculous shit this guy does on a football field.
We’ve become so spoiled watching Allen that plays like these almost feel normal. But they’re not. There are quarterbacks who could play 15 years in the NFL and never make some of the throws this guy makes on an ordinary Sunday afternoon. The most impressive thing about Allen is how he can turn something that looks like a disastrous play into a touchdown.
And considering the number of times the Bills seem determined to shoot themselves in the foot, having somebody who can do that is a pretty valuable luxury.
James Cook — And to Everyone Who Complained About Him.
James Cook has now scored a rushing touchdown in five consecutive games.
Every fucking week, this guy continues to prove his value. He’s running the football, finding the end zone, and making defenses account for somebody other than Josh Allen.
With six rushing touchdowns through six games, Cook is on pace for 17 over a full season.
Sometimes you pay a good football player because he’s a good fucking football player. What a concept.
Keon Coleman Is Starting to Look Like an NFL Receiver
I’m not ready to declare Keon Coleman a legitimate No. 1 wide receiver, and I’m not even sure that’s what he needs to be.
But can he become a dependable No. 2 or No. 3 receiver for this offense?
I’m going to say….maybe???
Coleman looks good. He looks slimmer, more comfortable, and more confident in what he’s doing.
What stands out
Coleman has 46 more receiving yards than through six games in 2025.
He’s averaging 14.9 yards per reception, compared with 9.9 last season.
He has three touchdowns, one more than at this point in either previous season.
He’s averaging 47.2 receiving yards per game, his highest first-six-game average.
Watching Allen somehow escape a sack and find him against the Raiders was another reminder of what these two guys can accomplish when they’re on the same page.
I don’t need Coleman to be Ja’Marr Chase. I need him to be somebody Allen can trust, somebody who can make contested catches, stretch the field, and give opposing defenses another player to worry about.
And for the first time in a while, I’m feeling pretty good about where he’s headed.
Khalil Shakir and the Greatest WR Screen Ever Called
Oh, great. Another fucking WR screen.
Wait a second…
IT WORKED?!
Khalil Shakir takes it in for a 9-yard touchdown thanks to some terrific blocking from Spencer Brown.
I’ve been saying it for years. The Bills need to run more WR screens.
Please don’t check my previous tweets.
Cole Bishop’s Bounce-Back Performance
I’ll give Cole Bishop some credit. After some frustrating performances, I thought he had a nice bounce-back first half against the Raiders.
The Bills’ defense certainly wasn’t perfect, especially with some of the absolutely shitty tackling before halftime, but Bishop looked better to me.
Hopefully, it’s something he can build on.
Christian Benford and Brock Bowers
For the first three quarters, Brock Bowers was practically a missing person. And a big reason for that, from what I saw, was Christian Benford.
When Benford was covering Bowers, he looked like he had him locked down. But when somebody else was responsible for Bowers, suddenly the guy was getting open and making plays.
That’s a pretty telling difference.
We’re talking about one of the most dangerous tight ends in football, and Benford looked more than capable of handling him.
Maybe there’s a lesson here. When you’ve got a defender doing a good job shutting down the other team’s biggest weapon, perhaps you should keep letting him do it.
What a fucking concept.
Bills Mafia Takes Over Las Vegas
Once again, Bills Mafia took over another NFL city. At this point, it’s almost expected. But if you’re an old-school Raiders fan, especially somebody who grew up watching the team in Oakland, you have to be absolutely fucking livid watching this.
Think about what the Raiders used to represent. Oakland was one of the most intimidating places in football for visiting fans.
You didn’t just stroll into that stadium wearing the opposing team’s jersey without wondering whether somebody was going to kick your ass, throw a beer at you, or literally piss on you.
I’m not saying any of that behavior was acceptable, but that was the kind of reputation the Oakland Coliseum had.
Now look at them.
They leave Oakland, move into a beautiful billion-dollar stadium in Las Vegas, and suddenly every visiting fan base treats the place like a fucking vacation destination.
Bills fans show up by the thousands, take over the bars, and turn what should be a Raiders home game into another Bills Mafia road party.
You went from the Black Hole to a tourist attraction.
That’s what happens when you move a team from a city where fans lived and died with the franchise to a place where visiting fans can build their entire weekend around football, gambling, and getting shitfaced on the Strip.
Homage
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The Bad
The Buffalo Bills Are an Undisciplined Football Team
I swear we’re battling our own fucking mistakes every single week.
Another penalty takes a touchdown off the board against Las Vegas, and I’m getting tired of watching this team make life harder for itself.
The numbers coming into this game were already concerning and are rising
Through six games, the Bills have committed 51 penalties for 439 yards, averaging 8.5 penalties per game.
That’s 16 more penalties than two years ago and seven more than last season.
And we’re supposed to believe this team is becoming more disciplined? The Bills are practically giving opponents a free fucking football field every week.
This isn’t just about how many flags they’re getting. It’s WHEN they’re happening.
You cannot keep wiping touchdowns off the board, burning unnecessary timeouts, and putting your offense in shitty situations because somebody can’t do his job.
At some point, this stops being a player problem and becomes a coaching problem.
Josh Palmer — I’m Starting to Have My Doubts….
I’m starting to think this Josh Palmer signing isn’t going to work out, guys.
That’s sarcasm, in case you couldn’t tell.
Another absolutely killer drop right before halftime. The kind of catch you have to make, especially when your offense is trying to put points on the board before the break.
He blows.
Can Somebody Make a Fucking Tackle?
Some absolutely shitty tackling by the Bills defense on the Raiders’ drive before halftime.
C.J. Gardner-Johnson couldn’t bring down Brock Bowers, and Terrel Bernard allowed another two or three yards after contact on a separate play.
At some point, can we just tackle the fucking guy instead of giving him extra yards?
This isn’t exactly a complicated concept.
The Defense Blows GOATs
The Bills are still a good football team. But are they actually getting better?
That’s the question I keep coming back to.
Because through six games, this defense has given me very little confidence that it’s capable of consistently stopping a good offense.
You gave up 34 points to the Rams last week and another 30 to the Raiders this week.
And look at the fourth quarter against Las Vegas. The Raiders scored 17 points after Buffalo had held them scoreless in the third.
That’s not exactly the kind of defensive performance that inspires confidence. And yes, injuries matter. Schemes matter. Personnel matters.
But those excuses only go so far when you’re giving up points, missing tackles, and asking Josh Allen and James Cook to bail you out every Sunday.
I know the standards are high, and maybe it’s unfair to Joe Brady this early in his head-coaching career.But it’s getting harder to point to something about this Bills team that feels significantly better than the versions we’ve watched in previous seasons.
Being good hasn’t been Buffalo’s problem for years.
Getting over the hump has been the problem.
The Ballwasher — Josh Allen
I’m giving this week’s Ballwasher to Josh Allen. I know, real original. Giving an award to the best quarterback in franchise history.
But what the fuck else am I supposed to do? Allen continues to perform magic tricks while the rest of us sit on our couches wondering how the hell he pulled them off. The escape from a sack to find Keon Coleman on a ridiculous shot-put touchdown throw. The ability to turn plays that should be disasters into highlights.
And the thing that still blows my mind is how routine he makes everything look.
There are teams that spend decades trying to find a quarterback who’s even half as talented as Josh Allen.
We get to watch him every week.
Enjoy it.
The Ballbreaker — C.J. Gardner-Johnson and Brandon Beane
C.J. Gardner-Johnson is an idiot.
You know what’s really fucking impressive? We were not even through the second quarter, and I’ve already decided who’s getting The Ballbreaker of the Game.
That’s how bad Gardner-Johnson has been.
Usually, I wait until the game is over before handing out this prestigious award. But congratulations, C.J. You managed to lock it up before halftime.
The missed tackles, getting burned in coverage, and then getting yourself thrown out of the game for spitting at Brock Bowers.
What the fuck are we doing here?
But you know who else deserves blame?
Brandon Beane.
Taking a chance on Gardner-Johnson as a backup or depth piece? Fine. I can live with that. You’re bringing in a veteran with experience, knowing full well the baggage that comes with him.
But making him your opening-day starter and apparently having no legitimate backup plan?
That’s a completely different story.
This is a guy who has bounced around the league, developed a reputation for being a head case, and worn out his welcome with multiple organizations.
You knew what you were getting.
To me, this was a total ego move by Beane. The idea that he could bring in another team’s headache, make him a starter, and somehow everything would magically work out in Buffalo.
Well, how’s that working out?
Call Jordan Poyer. Get ahold of Micah Hyde. I know Hyde is doing guest podcast appearances these days, but maybe he can put the microphone down and come back for a few snaps. Henry Jones? Matt Darby?
I’m only half kidding.
And yes, maybe the defensive scheme fucking blows, too. I’m not letting the coaching staff off the hook here.
But Gardner-Johnson simply hasn’t been a good fit in this defense, and making him an opening-day starter was a mistake.
At some point, you have to stop blaming the player for being exactly who he’s always been and start blaming the people who decided to put him in that position.
Final Thoughts
The Bills are 5-1, and I’m thrilled about that. Winning football games in the NFL is never something you should take for granted.And when you’ve got Josh Allen and James Cook, you’ve got a chance to beat just about anybody.
But I’d be lying if I said there weren’t some things about this team that concern me.
The defense is giving up too many points. The penalties are becoming ridiculous. And there are still moments where I’m watching this team and wondering whether anything has really changed.
Maybe the difference this year is that Allen and Cook are both playing at such a high level that they can overcome some of those problems.
But I’d rather not find out how much they can overcome every fucking Sunday.
Enjoy the win. Appreciate those two incredible offensive players.
And please, for the love of God, can we figure out how to tackle somebody?
I’ll be on Talking Buffalo live tonight at 9pm and it will drop on your favorite podcast station by Monday Morning…
