“Misery loves company” is one of those sayings that everyone understands because, whether we admit it or not, a lot of people live this way.
Something goes wrong in your life, and sometimes the easiest way to make yourself feel better is to find somebody who has it worse.
See? I’m not doing THAT bad.
I’ve always tried not to look at life that way. I don’t want somebody else to fail so I can feel better about my own failures. If I’m doing something wrong, show me the person doing it right. That’s who I want to copy.
Sports, of course, are almost completely the opposite.
Sports fans LOVE misery.
Your team loses on Sunday and within an hour you’re searching for somebody who lost worse. Your quarterback throws three interceptions? Well, somebody else’s quarterback threw four. Your coach completely botches the end of a game? Don’t worry, another coach did something even dumber.
And then comes the sentence every sports fan has heard a thousand times:
“Well, it could be worse. You could be a ______ fan.”
I never got much satisfaction out of that.
When the Bills were going 6-10, I didn’t feel better because the Browns went 4-12. When Buffalo was in the middle of the drought, watching some other franchise implode didn’t suddenly make missing the playoffs for the 11th, 12th or 13th straight year more enjoyable.
The Bills still sucked.
Why am I supposed to feel better because somebody else sucks more?
Which brings me to Thursday night and the Detroit Lions.
Somebody made a joke a year or two ago that if the Bills and Lions ever played each other in the Super Bowl, the United States would basically need to create an entirely new infrastructure to handle it.
Forget widening the Thruway. We’d need another Thruway.
Western New York and Detroit would empty out. It would be the cannon ball run of RVs that would be backed up for hundreds of miles. People would be refinancing their homes for tickets. Two fan bases that have spent generations waiting for that moment would descend on one city at the same time.
It would be complete insanity.
And I understand why Buffalo and Detroit get connected.
Buffalo. Cleveland. Detroit.
Those always seem to be the three cities thrown into the same bucket whenever we’re talking about long-suffering sports towns.
Then come all the descriptions we’ve heard 400 million times.
Blue collar.
Rust Belt.
Hard-working.
Tough.
Resilient.
Snow.
Factories.
Working-class people who love their football.
Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
You can practically write the national TV feature before they shoot it. Find an old factory, get some steam coming out of something, show a guy wearing a Carhartt jacket, find a bar that’s been open since 1953, put some snow on the ground and finally talk about how football represents the toughness of the community.
Boom. Buffalo-Detroit package finished.
But the actual football histories aren’t really the same.
The Lions have never been to a Super Bowl.
Buffalo has been to four.
Unfortunately, Buffalo lost all four of them, which created an entirely different form of sports trauma. Detroit spent decades trying to win a playoff game. Buffalo spent 17 years trying just to get into one.
Detroit had Barry Sanders. Buffalo had Jim Kelly, Thurman Thomas, Bruce Smith and Andre Reed.
The Lions spent years wandering around the NFL wilderness. The Bills climbed all the way to the top of the mountain four straight times, got kicked directly in the balls four straight times and then eventually wandered into their own wilderness.
Different journeys. Same miserable destination.
And now, weirdly enough, the two franchises have something else in common.
They’re good.
Really good.
After all those years when Buffalo and Detroit were useful national punchlines, nobody is laughing anymore.And this is where I’ve realized something about myself as a sports fan. I don’t really have the tortured-city brotherhood gene.
I’ve never watched the Lions and thought, Those poor people have suffered like us. I hope they finally get one. I don’t remember doing it with Cleveland either.
Maybe that’s cold. Maybe after spending this much of my life watching the Bills, I’ve simply used up my available sports sympathy.I don’t think another fan base finally winning something does anything for me.
When the Red Sox finally won the World Series, it didn’t erase Wide Right.
When the Cubs finally won, it didn’t make Music City Miracle disappear.
If Cleveland ever wins a Super Bowl, I’m sure Browns fans will have the greatest night of their sports lives.
Good for them.
It won’t do shit for me.
Because I’ve never wanted Buffalo to win a championship so we could join some club of previously miserable cities that finally got their happy ending.
I want Buffalo to win because Buffalo hasn’t won.
That’s it.
I don’t need Detroit to win first and prove that it’s possible.
I don’t need Cleveland to remain miserable so Buffalo doesn’t look as bad.
And I don’t need another fan base’s suffering to make 13 Seconds, Wide Right, the Music City Miracle, four straight Super Bowl losses or 17 years without the playoffs feel any better.
That’s their history.
We’ve got ours.
So when the Bills play Detroit Thursday night, I’m sure we’ll hear plenty about the similarities between the two cities and the two fan bases. I’m sure someone will bring up what a Bills-Lions Super Bowl would mean. I’m sure we’ll get the Rust Belt stuff and the blue-collar stuff and all the usual imagery.
And that’s fine.
There probably is a Detroit fan somewhere who looks at Buffalo and thinks, They understand us.
Maybe plenty of Bills fans feel the same way about Detroit.
I just never have.
Because misery might love company.
But after 37 seasons of watching the Buffalo Bills, I’ve had enough misery of my own.
I don’t need anybody sitting next to me.
10 Things to Know Before Bills-Lions
There are certain games where I can look at the schedule, shrug, and tell myself it’s Week 2, we have 16 more of these things to go, and whatever happens Thursday night isn’t going to decide the Bills season.
And then there is Bills-Lions.
Yeah, I’m pretty excited about this one.
It’s Josh Allen against Jared Goff, it’s two 1-0 teams, it’s the first regular-season game at the new Highmark Stadium, and it’s a rematch of a game from two years ago where apparently everyone involved decided defense was optional.
I went through Stathead, Pro Football Reference, PFF, EPA numbers, personnel usage, Sunday’s games, last year’s numbers, and the last time these teams played, and there are some pretty ridiculous stats here.
So here are 10 things to know before Bills-Lions.
1. The last Bills-Lions game was drunk
I don’t really know how else to describe it. Buffalo went into Detroit on December 15, 2024, the Lions were 12-1, they would eventually finish 15-2 and get the No. 1 seed in the NFC, and the Bills walked into Ford Field and beat them 48-42.
The two teams combined for more than 1,000 yards, Buffalo averaged 8.2 yards per play, Detroit averaged 6.6, and according to PFF, the Bills produced an absolutely ridiculous 0.517 EPA per play.
Jared Goff threw for 494 yards and five touchdowns.
Five touchdowns!
And they lost.
That’s because Allen went 23-of-34 for 362 yards and two touchdowns, and then ran for another 68 yards and two touchdowns, which means Buffalo got 430 yards of offense and four touchdowns from one human being.
And Allen wasn’t just throwing little passes and watching someone run 70 yards, either.
On passes traveling at least 10 yards downfield, Allen went 9-of-15 for 270 yards, had five big-time throws, and didn’t have a turnover-worthy play.
James Cook also ran for 105 yards and two touchdowns, Amon-Ra St. Brown had 193 receiving yards, Sam LaPorta had 111, Jahmyr Gibbs had 114 yards from scrimmage and two touchdowns, and basically everyone who had a fantasy player in this game was having the greatest day of their life.
It was completely stupid.
I would prefer Buffalo win by 30 this time and I can just sit on the couch peacefully drinking something by the fourth quarter, but I have a feeling we’re not getting that.
2. Allen and Goff apparently only play arcade games against each other
This was one of my favorite Stathead rabbit holes.
Allen and Goff have started against each other three times, although one of those came in 2020 when Goff was still with the Rams, and the combined passing numbers are absurd.
That’s 1,981 passing yards and 17 touchdown passes between the two quarterbacks in three games.
And here’s the part I care about.
Allen is 3-0.
Goff has actually put up slightly better traditional passing numbers in those games, and he has nothing to show for it, because of course the passing numbers leave out the part where Allen turns into a 240-pound running back whenever he feels like it.
Against Detroit specifically, Allen has added 162 rushing yards and four rushing touchdowns in three games.
That’s the difference for me.
Goff can stand in the pocket and play a nearly perfect game, and he has done it against Buffalo before, but Allen can do all of that and then on third-and-9, when everyone is covered and the defense has technically won the play, he can run for 17 yards.
Seems useful.
3. Buffalo wasn’t just good against Houston, it was ridiculously explosive
We all know the numbers by now: Buffalo had 409 yards on only 52 offensive plays against Houston. 7.9 yards per play. Allen went 20-of-29 for 334 yards, two passing touchdowns and two rushing touchdowns, Dalton Kincaid had five catches for 130 yards, DJ Moore had five for 100 yards and a touchdown, and Khalil Shakir added another 50.
But here’s the advanced number that really explains what I thought I was seeing.
According to the advanced passing data, Allen had 382 intended air yards on 29 attempts, or 13.2 intended air yards per attempt.
Allen had five completions of at least 30 yards, a regular-season career high, and Buffalo had two separate 96-yard touchdown drives that required only 10 plays combined.
That’s the shit I’m interested in seeing again.
And after what happened to Detroit’s secondary Sunday?
Yeah.
I would test it again.
A lot.
4. Detroit just allowed 410 passing yards to Tyler Shough
This is the number where, if I’m a Lions fan, I’m probably telling everyone it was only Week 1 and everything will be fine.
And maybe it will be.
But Tyler Shough just threw for 410 yards against Detroit. Chris Olave had 10 catches for 182 yards, New Orleans finished with 469 total yards, ran 86 offensive plays, and came within a failed two-point conversion in overtime of beating the Lions.
Now four days later you get Allen.
Awesome.
And Detroit’s defensive problems didn’t exactly appear Sunday out of nowhere, because last season the Lions allowed 24.3 points per game, which ranked 22nd, and their defense was considerably worse away from Ford Field.
Now they’re going on the road, on a short week, against Allen, and doing it for the first regular-season game at the new Highmark Stadium.
Again, maybe this is the week where everything suddenly looks different.
But if I’m Joe Brady, I’m throwing the football.
5. DJ Moore changes the math
Moore has played Detroit plenty from his years in Chicago, and in nine career games against the Lions he has 53 catches for 753 yards and five touchdowns, which works out to 14.2 yards per reception.
So he’s familiar with these guys.
And if Detroit’s secondary is going to have the same issues it had against New Orleans, I don’t know how you simultaneously protect against Moore vertically, deal with Kincaid in the middle, handle Shakir underneath, account for Cook, and keep someone watching Allen.
6. Jahmyr Gibbs scares the shit out of me
There.
That’s my advanced analysis.
And the advanced stuff makes it even more impressive.
His 12 missed tackles, a career high, and Detroit used motion on 24 of his carries. Gibbs gained 131 yards and scored twice on those motion runs, and had six explosive runs.
That’s not just handing the ball to a running back 29 times and hoping something happens.
They’re designing the offense around him.
And this is where I get nervous because stopping the run was one of Buffalo’s biggest problems last year. Houston ran 32 times for 124 yards Sunday, which is only 3.9 yards per carry and isn’t disastrous.
Now you get Gibbs.
And if Buffalo starts committing more bodies to stopping Gibbs, well, congratulations, now we can move on to the other problem.
7. Amon-Ra St. Brown apparently hates the Buffalo Bills
I wish I hadn’t looked this up. St. Brown has played Buffalo twice.
His numbers?
That’s 157.5 receiving yards per game.
The last meeting was especially stupid.
18 targets.
14 catches.
193 yards.
One touchdown.
And LaPorta had seven catches for 111 yards in the same game. That’s why dealing with Gibbs isn’t as simple as saying, OK, put another defender in the box.
Great.
Now who’s dealing with St. Brown?
Who’s dealing with LaPorta?
Who’s running with Jameson Williams?
8. The good news is Buffalo might be able to get to Goff
This is where I think Jim Leonhard has an opportunity.
According to Pro Football Reference’s advanced numbers, Goff was pressured 152 times in 2025, or on 24.5% of his dropbacks, and he scrambled only five times all season.
That’s the difference between playing Goff and playing Allen.
Pressure Goff and the play starts breaking down.
Pressure Allen and sometimes you’ve accidentally created a completely different offensive play where he runs for 20 yards.
I don’t think Buffalo needs to blitz Goff 40 times because Goff is perfectly capable of figuring that out, finding St. Brown or LaPorta in the vacated area, and making everyone complain about the defense on Twitter.
But Buffalo has to move him.
That’s why I liked what happened at the end of the Houston game.
Deone Walker gets Stroud.
Then Greg Rousseau gets Stroud and forces the fumble.
Terrel Bernard recovers it.
Game over.
If Buffalo can create pressure with four, and keep seven defenders available for all of Detroit’s weapons, that’s the path.
Because if Goff is standing there comfortably all night, St. Brown is going to catch approximately 700 passes.
9. These aren’t exactly the same Lions Buffalo saw two years ago
The stars make Detroit feel familiar because Goff, Gibbs, St. Brown, Williams, LaPorta and Aidan Hutchinson are all still there, but the roster around them has changed quite a bit.
David Montgomery is gone, and Buffalo literally just saw him Sunday because he’s now with Houston.
Detroit spent a lot of resources rebuilding pieces of the offensive line, signing center Cade Mays, acquiring Juice Scruggs, adding tackle depth, and then using the 17th overall pick on Clemson tackle Blake Miller.
They also added Isiah Pacheco to the backfield, although he won’t play Thursday because of his back injury, which is another reason Gibbs has become such a massive part of this offense.
On defense, Detroit added D.J. Wonnum, Roger McCreary, Chuck Clark, Christian Izien, Damone Clark and Jay Tufele, and then used its second-round pick on Michigan edge rusher Derrick Moore.
And Detroit’s pass rush did show some life Sunday.
The Lions had five sacks, Derrick Barnes had a sack and an interception, and Hutchinson had two sacks late.
So while I’m sitting here saying Buffalo should throw because New Orleans just had 410 passing yards, there is an obvious counter to all of this.
Detroit has to get to Allen before those routes develop.
That’s probably one of the biggest matchups of the entire game.
Buffalo’s offensive line against Hutchinson and Detroit’s pass rush.
If Buffalo wins that matchup, I really like its chances.
10. I keep coming back to 8.2 and 7.9
Two years ago against Detroit, Buffalo averaged 8.2 yards per play.
Sunday against Houston?
7.9.
That’s ridiculous.
And probably not sustainable, because if Buffalo averages around eight yards per play for an entire season we are going to have some very different conversations about this offense. But there’s another part of the 2024 game that I think matters.
Buffalo didn’t just throw all over Detroit.
The Bills ran 34 times for 197 yards and four touchdowns, or 5.8 yards per carry. Cook had 105 yards and two touchdown and Allen added 68 and two more TDs.
Detroit couldn’t just say we’re stopping Allen throwing the football because Buffalo was killing them on the ground, and if they changed what they were doing to stop the run, Allen could go right back to throwing it.
And this brings me back to the Allen-Goff Stathead numbers.
In their three head-to-head starts, Allen and Goff have combined for 1,981 passing yards and 17 passing touchdowns.
Goff has put up enormous numbers.
It hasn’t mattered.
Allen is 3-0.
So, sure, watch Thursday somehow finish 17-13 because that’s how the NFL works and why gambling is stupid.
But I don’t see it.
I think Detroit is going to move the football, and I think Gibbs is going to give Buffalo problems, and I think there are going to be moments where I’m complaining about the Bills defense because apparently that’s just part of watching this team.
But I also watched what Allen did in Houston.
And now Detroit has to come into Buffalo four days after allowing 410 passing yards, and do it for the first regular-season game at the new Highmark Stadium.
Maybe I’m overreacting to one week.
Probably.
But if this turns into the same type of game we saw two years ago, and both offenses are moving the football, and both quarterbacks are basically looking across the field and saying, OK, can you top this?
I’ll take my chances.
Because Jared Goff can be great.
Josh Allen can be ridiculous.
And there’s a difference.
My prediction
Research note: Statistics and historical research for this piece were compiled using Stathead and Pro Football Reference, PFF, NFL and official Buffalo Bills and Detroit Lions game data. Advanced metrics referenced include EPA per play, success rate, pressure rate, intended air yards, average depth of target and personnel usage. Statistics are through Week 1 of the 2026 NFL season.